A Crackpot of Pairings
by MoonlitTheft
Summary: Various random, crack-filled pairings All one-shots, so the story will always say 'complete'.
1. Play The Game - Bastet x Kim

_It had been amusing, sickingly so, the way he'd catch her staring after Jace. His lips are stretched into a wide grin, how can he not want to mess with her? The little girl who seems to be awkward with her own shadow when Jace is around, but who seems to sprout a backbone the moment her peach-haired friend is next to her._  
_"Well then~" His voice is a purr, low and dangerous "Let's see what you'll get when you're with me~" Bastet chuckles, his tail swishing back and forth before he approaches one Kim Brookshire. "Hey there~" he calls, drawing her attention._  
_She turns around and her eyes widen from behind her glasses as she notices him, who is obviously a demon._  
_If possible, his grin widens even more. "Want to play~?"_  
_Because what can be more fun than a game?_


	2. The Early Bird Catches Jace - KaWig

It's a stare down, a complete and utter stare down. Both of them are in front of a certain Jace Arani's door, both for completely different reasons (or are they, really?).  
"You're a long way from home, aren't you? Isn't it a bit early for your rounds?" Kailah grins sharply, letting her one visible eye dance over Ludwig's form. "Not that anyone here minds, of course~" she leers at him.  
Ludwig frowns a little, feeling a little (okay, more like very) mollested. "Zat is none of Sie business, Frau Singer." he says simply, his tone clipped.  
"I'm sure it isn't," she leans a bit closer. "but I'd love to hear more nevertheless~"  
Ludwig really, _really_ doesn't like the glint in the woman's eye. "Zat isn't accept-"  
"In private, of course." She interrupts them, snatching up Ludwig's arm and dragging him to the room across of Jace's, Ludwig's ususal room here.  
"What? Zat is-"  
"I'm sure~"  
The door closes loudly.  
Inside his own room, Jace sags a little against the door as he realises that two of the most troublesome people in his life have left. He can finally breathe a little easier. 'Haa... Would definitely like a camera to see how _that_ plays out, though...'


	3. Make Me Sing - Bastet x Kailah

"Hehh~" A grin is on Kailah's lips, though her visible eye is narrowed. "You know, if you want to get to him, you'll have to get through me first~"  
A matching grin is on Bastet's lips. "I don't see a problem with that~" He purrs out. "You look like you'll break if I play too roughly though~" He taunts.  
Kailah chuckles lowly as red envelops the metal stump around her arm. "Let's see if you can make my lover sing~"  
_Siiiiing_ sounds through the air as she moves the chainsaw towards Bastet's head.

A while away stands Jace, looking more ruffled up than he'd like from running from the two that may just be his 'greatest, most psycho fans'.  
'I hope at least one of them dies in this,' he thinks, rolling his eyes to the heavens. 'Because this world isn't big enough for the both of them.'


	4. Could've Been Me - Ravin x Jace

"You should just give up, Devon's never gonna be your fling." The 22 years old Ravin snorts.  
"Shut up," Jace scoffs, and Ravin wonders if the 18 years old is about to throw one of his infamous tantrums. "It'll happen." He declares. "Watch me."  
Ravin rolls his eyes, "Never." His eyes shift to their 26 years handler, before back to Jace. "She's way out of your league." he shrugs.  
"Then who _is_ in my league, hm?" Jace sneers a little as he twirls his simple wooden staff (the 7th one this month, since the others broke again) around in his hands.  
"Someone unimportant." Ravin replies.  
"Heh," Jace smirks, placing the hand that isn't holding the staff, on his hip. "Someone like you?" His voice is mockingly sweet, his grin cheerful enough, but his eyes are glaring.  
If the comment hurts, Ravin doesn't show it.  
"Hmph, whatever." Jace turns on his heel and stalks off.  
Ravin sighs as he watches him leave. One of these days, he's sure that that arrogance will be Jace's downfall. He turns his eyes to the sky as he thinks, 'Why can't it be someone like me?' before he shoves his hands into his pockets and walks after the youngest member of the team.


	5. Probably Drunk - Bastet x Kael

Drunk. The only way to explain this current situation, is to assume that he is somehow drunk, without actually drinking. There is no other way.  
Kael stares at the demon who is draped over him, his expression unamused as he tries to shove the sleeping Bastet off.  
"Hnh~"  
Kael winces at nails dig into his shoulder, as Bastet seems very intent on continuing his little catnap. "Get off."  
"Make me~" Comes the sleepy purr.  
Kael sends Bastet a slight glare. "I shall shove your 'ead down a toilet and flush, if you do not remove yourself from me now."  
Bastet snickers, "Think you can carry me all the way there~?"  
Okay, Kael will admit that he has a point.  
Bastet grins, patting Kael's cheek lazily. "You just stay right there, while I stay right here." he decides.  
"I do not wish to-"  
"Shh~ Shouldn't have shoved catnip into your pants then~"  
Kael blanks. "I did not-"  
"Hmm... Let's check to make sure~"  
'Gah!?"  
As Kael finds himself on his back for the demon _again_, he once more agrees that he is definitely,_definitely_ drunk.


	6. Stolen Kisses - Seven x Vesta

Their lips meet lightly, the feeling of skin brushing over skin fleeting, almost as if it was a dream. Seven draws back slightly, coughing a little at the completely and utterly blank look Vesta sports on her face. Silence follows, he can practically hear crickets in the background.

She blinks - a sign of life, but she looks no more impressed than she did a few seconds ago. "What the hell, Seven."

"Errr... Ehehe... It... was a bet...?" Awkwardly, Jace holds up his hands, taking a few steps away.

"..." And here Seven thought Vesta couldn't look even more unimpressed than she had done before. He was wrong.

"... I'llbeleavingnow." Seven says, shuffling off.

"Hey,"

Seven tenses up lightly, glancing back at Vesta. "... Yeah?"

Her eyes narrow slightly, and the smirk that crawls onto her lips makes cold sweat break out on the back of his neck, "Tell this to Jace." And then her fist comes flying at him really fast, really hard.

'Ah shi-'


End file.
